8:47 p.m. x 2002-09-11
i saw my therapist yesterday.
she's pretty nice, although it's weird that i didn't feel as screwed up for wanting to go until she started to probe my problems. like i give people a reason to like me so they won't leave me, i become the confidant and the listener and i don't have one of my own because of it. i'm not a very good voice of reason but a lot of times i end up being purely out of lack of reason. i get sick when i have revelations of lust or love, i think just because everytime i feel that way about someone it ends up crashing and imploding. i don't know of anybody in particular i'm in love with, i think my ability to tell has fallen by the wayside somewhat, but i've had that sick feeling lately.
why am i lonely??? i have nine really wonderful friends that i'm thrilled out of my mind to have, but i feel useless and sick and lonely.
and tired...maybe i should go nap now...
if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start