it is the dying artform of the malt maker/soda jerk that does bother me

9:01 p.m. x 2002-11-19

or, "i was drunk and bored that particular evening"...(lifted from the white stripes' message archive)

...one thing that concerns me however is the dying art of making a chocolate malt. i have to admit it is one of my favourite vices. but it seems that the days of the soda jerk being able to make a proper one in his sleep are long gone. so i will now list all of the known techniques to making a proper malt for anyone who is in a postion to make it for others. the proper chocolate malt is as follows: VANILLA ice cream that's right VANILLA, you do not use chocolate ice cream for a chocolate malt. now if you can get past that very important step you are fifty percent there my friend. next you add chocolate syrup, fresh milk, and finally malt powder, lots of it. because if you don't add lots of it, it tastes like a shake, and that is not what i ordered! you have to have enough to give the malt it's "malt personality" if you will. and most importantly you do not mix it up until it's as watery as milk (something they don't seem to understand in australia where i purchased three different malts at three different places only to be served something along the lines of chocolate milk, and it seemed they never heard of malt powder) you only mix the malt enough to get it through a straw, there should be a thick muddy feel to the malt, and a second helping should be served in a tin mixing cup along with the original malt in the glass. whip cream doesn't bother me, i can take it or leave it, but it is the dying artform of the malt maker/soda jerk that does bother me, i think we should all be aware of this and help to continue this dying, beutiful, comforting aspect of life, for our children if not for us ourselves...

- jack white, february 18th 2002

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11