it was the reason i was no longer comatose after an entire life of sleepwalking

7:06 p.m. x 2002-12-17

I WANT THE FEELING TO STOP. LOCK ME IN A LITTLE BOX AND LET ME SCREAM FOR A FEW HOURS. WATCH ME AND TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG - WHAT DID I FUCK UP SO BADLY? WHY AM I THIS WAY???

all at once i hate what you did and just as much, if not more that, i hate that i hate that you did it.

i feel like people keep invading me. people keep coming in and taking things. i don't feel acknowledged or respected - to be perfectly honest i feel like shit, and i don't feel like i'm getting much of any support from certain people...who are supposed to be my friends...

...why the hell do i put up with it?

you're pretty goddamn lucky you managed to stumble onto me, because there is NO ONE on earth who could put up with as much bullshit as i do.

(if your name isn't mentioned in the list below, you more than likely helped to fuck my day)

*utterly pointless little sparks of goodness of my day*
rode to school with jaypea alone, just felt very nice and very calming...i told you i wanted to spend more time with you
tweak is heavily enjoying the books, especially prozac nation, she has great taste in books this little one
saw brittany for the first time in forever
amanda and i exchanged gifts (kathy acker for lynette fromme: runaway)

i'm off to choke myself on soup *blah*. tomorrow better kick ass, jesus. i hate these "sad" entries.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11