6:46 p.m. x 2003-01-27

we won't be learning about evolution this year in bio because the teacher doesn't believe in it. she's such a ray of sunshine, that young lady. i hate living in redneck wonderland so much...it's so fucking suffocating here. i want to go to NYU, my therapist was talking to me about that. i know i'm fully capable of going and there's nothing stopping me. a close relative of mine taught there and wants me to get it and everyone, myself included (how unusual) thinks it's a great idea.

but my grades (at the moment) suck and i'm NOT academically inclined at all. i just want to be somewhere where i'm learning about stuff i WANT to learn about with people who have aspirations beyond sitting on an armchair with a beercan smoking weed and watching the WWE. THERE IS MORE TO LIFE...*bangs her head against the wall*.

THE OFFICIAL LIST OF SUCKINESS TO KICK-OFF THE NEW SEMESTER
the bio teacher
psychodrama
the revolving fourth block
jaypea can't take me home on mondays after this (gimme a break, i like my time with him)
there's still too much shit going on to think clearly
i don't go to therapy often enough
nobody will ever stop and listen to my problems
my best friends don't like me anymore, or i don't feel like they do
i want to be alone so much that i just want to crawl away into the smallest corner and not come the fuck back

of all of them, psychodrama sucks the most. cut the shit out, people. "i know in the tibetan, sylvia plath sense we're all dying", but you aren't for any reason but self-pity and it's FUCKING UGLY.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)