6:41 p.m. x 2003-02-17

mmm...the pumpkins. i love them. i remember, my mom and i were in FYE buying manda a gift, and i saw their "best of" package. thus the dawn of my interest in them, and in rock in general...rotten apples by the smashing pumpkins, celebrity skin by hole...among others, took this little kindergoth and opened her ears to rock music...

ugh. that was the happiest thought i've had all day. i actually feel like shit. none of my friends really like me anymore. i've failed at the one thing i really would've liked to accomplish: being a good friend. all my friends hate me and don't want to talk to me. i want to just hop on a fucking bus and go away, like in ghost world.

i'm so fucking paranoid. i was actually about to say "they're all against me".

thank god i have therapy tomorrow.

despite all my rage i am still just a rat in a cage
then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
despite all my rage i am still just a rat in a cage

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)