You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

you know that sadistic little voice that hangs about the back doors of your conciousness just waiting for that moment - that moment when you've walked around a mall so much you're ready to collapse - and then, you see it! tonight, that sadistic little voice chose to prey upon my aunt, who found its way up to her ear and gave a good long yell in the middle of neiman marcus. thus, my aunt is now the proud owner of a pair of $450 manolo blahniks, and they are quite happy together. i cheer them on as i clutch the overpriced plush hello kitty i secured today (SWEET REVENGE!!!). and YES, the blahniks are lovely, leelee...!

yes, we attended a very big mall today, and i had the most pleasant dining experience in the cheesecake factory. *mmm...guacamole...* upon my many adventures in this mall, i happened upon a man weak enough to offer me a free massage, i killed a display at fredrick's of hollywood, and spent an hour with hello kitty merchandising in the sanrio store. i was a happy girl.

BUT - still, something bothered me. i was following my mom through a store when i saw a pianist and suddenly it hit me. i'd spent my fourteenth birthday there with manda, and we had been through a terrible bad patch. all that washed over me right there in front of the pianist and it was only the hello kitty that sustained me from crying (i'm sorry but that thing made me pretty damn happy). later on i saw a baby-sized $15 bottle of "dune" by christian dior, manda's favorite. and i didn't get it and i feel like shit. a little like shit. i feel bad for feeling like shit which just perpetuates the vicious cycle...not only that but she hates gifts @_@. oh well, i suppose then someone must be happy in this situation...i'm just confused right now.

my aunt, mom, and i spent all night last night watching "sex and the city" after a whole day of me alone watching "the twilight zone". this is why you got no entry yesterday, i was all confuzzled from hours before the holy glowing box, dvd and tivo intact. the first thing i'm doing, come xmas, is acquiring a dvd player and seasons 1-6 (when 5&6 come out, anyway) of "sex and the city". this will result in my becoming a recluse and you may or may not hear from me for a few days...weeks...we shall see...

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)