not working

5:15 p.m. x 2003-08-17

alright...after last evening i know without a doubt i can't do the no-therapy thing terribly long. i'm sick of holding everything in and i'm sick of scaring myself.

i didn't even get to admit my biggest problems to susan. i've tried to talk about it to other people and even if i tell them, i doubt they get it. i don't get it. maybe manda gets it, she's the smart one, you know.

*le sigh*...but the best thing for a bad mood is jumping around to "black math" at four in the morning and singing into a hairbrush like an exuberant six-year-old. i'm glad that i have that concert to look foreward to with claree. i'll be happy no matter what but i'll cry at home for an extra hour if they fail to play "jolene", which has strong sentimental value. i wonder if there'll be screaming? i'm not the screaming-fan type. i don't orgasm at the mere sight of an object of adoration.

no, i cry. jesus i need a spine for christmas.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11