1:22 p.m. x 2003-10-02

more fun hits..."sadomasochistic invader zim", "intolerance of sexism"...and who keeps searching for "jaypea" on the german MSN search engine?!

HOW SOON IS NOW
tatu

i am the son, i am the heir
of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
i am the son and heir
of nothing in particular
you shut your mouth
how can you say
i go about these things the wrong way?
i am human and i need to be loved
just like everyone else does
i am the son, i am the heir
of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
i am the son and heir
of nothing in particular
you shut your mouth
how can you say
i go about these things the wrong way?
i am human and i need to be loved
just like everyone else does
there's a club if you'd like to go
you could meet somebody
who really loves you
and you go and you stand on your own
and you leave on your own
and you go home
and you cry
and you want to die
when you say it's gonna happen now
what exactly do you mean?
see i've already waited too long
and all my hope is GONE
you shut your mouth
how can you say
i go about these things the wrong way
i am human and i need to be loved
just like everyone does

today began lovingly in the nook, which is becoming vastly too small for its occupants. especially when many of them are asleep and sprawled out on each other in an "orky". soon after i bounced to the guidance office to catch up with my councelor on randomness. stupid crushy stuff was discussed, and i updated her on the various exploits of myssidom. she was pleased, as was i, to realize that i'm worlds happier than last year. my body language is more lively and my thoughts are coming out a lot more easily. she doesn't have to sit and coax an confession out of me anymore - things are infinitely clearer now. and i intend to avoid like the plague the things that were making everything blurry.

i know exactly what it was, and while it is gone - it's trying to sneak it's way back into my life in yet another deceptively well-intentioned form. and indeed, i know i sound creepy and coded and paranoid but that's because i think that this "deceptively well-intentioned form" is a good person and i don't want to hurt his/her feelings. BUT, i'm still going to be careful about it. because this year does kick ass so far.

*interlude* WHEEEE!!!!! - i have fourth block with josh EVVVVERRRY DAY next semester ^-^ *does the happy josh dance*. *end of interlude*

what else transpired today? manda brought heaven's cupcakes. catie, bridget and i resolved to savagely beat a lad named phil senseless (mer - he has my 4th grade yearbook, abby has my 7th...GIVE THEM BACK!). i don't remember loads about the middle of the day, except for the fact that i got another one of those puzzled glares from english woman. she's suspicious of how, while i'm barely maintaining a passing grade, i keep nailing my vocab quizzes. i already know the words...there's no memorization involved. everything else relies of memory. hopefully the councelor gets that sorted out with my teachers soon.

*ahem* one more, tres important thing.

I
L�VE
CLARE
!!!!!!!!!!!!
and you should, too <3

now, SAT class impending. must go nap.

(((one final note, today's short description is so important. you don't even know. it refers to last year. resolving issues. rednecks are stupid. don't live here.)))

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)