like a game of pick up sticks played by fucking lunatics

9:06 p.m. x 2003-10-09

now i KNOW that, right as i walked in this morning, something good and something bad happened. as luck would have it, i remember the bad part, but i completely forget what was sustaining any kind of a mood i was in for the first two blocks. free period made me angry - we had a drama club meeting, which i liked. we went on the stage, and i do not remember much about that or lunch, and then the rest of that all just races into where i was in the art room all alone working. it made me feel worlds better just to dedicate myself to a task alone in a secluded hallway. i calmed down and was quite happy, despite getting a little paint-ee. i HATE getting messy. uuugh. but still, that was relaxing.

something about this week was just blah, though. maybe it was the fact that i have a hideous virus that doesn't make one ill so much as devastatingly DIZZY. or it could very well be the rampant, throbbing hormones and incessant harping on sex and sexuality and sexsexsex and lovelovelove and this way and that way and AAAAAGH.

but more than likely it is simply that arnold is the governer of california, and come now - that is more than a little CREEPY.

where are the planets this month?! everything's upside down. in celebration - no wait, let's go back and put that in quotation marks - in "celebration" (that's better) of this astrological oddity, the spirits have taken to peppering my day with references to "bizarro world" a la superman, where everything is backwards. hmmmmmmm.

uugh - and we had a pep rally today. even the cheerleaders dread these things, as you would if you lived somewhere that was one third school, one third farm land, and one third walmart. needless to say, these are not terribly peppy rallies. today was a stunning example of the unpeppy deapths our rallies tend to reach. a loud cry of exuberance was let lose though - at the mention of the opposing team.

i have faith in my school as a whole though. individually - many of them suck and do not realize it. but as a collective unit, all is brought clearly into perspective: ESPN HAS WRITTEN ABOUT HOW BAD WE ARE.

i miss manda. despite still being my spiritually conjoined twin, we haven't seemed to have lots of time together as of late. but the other day, while we were supposed to be working hurriedly on a project, we just sat in my room and exchanged the spilling of each others' guts. it was a lot broader, a lot more open than we've talked since before the eight grade shitstorm. it felt G R E A T like i cannot tell you. on some deep suspicious level we are very alike, and when we can stop grimacing at the resemblance all becomes very serene and reassuring. i love my manda.

at present, i have completed half my SAT classes. i'm eagerly anticipating their end, as they've become somewhat of an annoyance with the art club goings-on. i'm glad i waited to join until this year. it sucked for so many years because of all those creepy upperclassmen. a few of these creepy artifacts (not the same kind, but a frightening similar classification thereof) are still lingering in officer positions of the drama club, and are sure to make it hell for myself and all involved. but i'll make do, sitting off in the corner making some decidedly annoying noise and thinking about poking tweak in the stomach.

look at those abs of steel!

alrighty, now i see i've done a good bit of ranting for one evening, and so i shall leave you with the hope of a conciderably better weekend for your hostess. *dances* - evening, loves <3.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11