You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

yesterday, as i was walking about with my clare, we stumbled onto the topic of love songs. what defines a love song for one individual my differ in terms of how someone else sees them. in myssi-land, a love song is not a love song unless the song is ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP. as in the subject of the song loves the singer back. sometimes this can be subjective - i just assume the love the beatles sing about is requited unless it states specifically otherwise. in the case of lost love songs and i-wish-i-had-you-but-alas-i-cannot...another genre in and of itself. the pining song. the obsessive song. the pity party...

...i'm not a big fan of love songs, but i felt as though this was an important topic enough to rant about. on another, higher level of importance, though - clare & kara & i hung about one another yesterday, first observing football and then sleeping on my floor. i missed much of this being completely exhausted -_- and my legs are positively killing me, but i'll have to deal with it because tonight i'm outing. we won't be seeing "the texas chainsaw massacre" remake because clare's mother disapproves. BUT -- fun will be had in spite of all.

and in the mean time i have four empty hours to fill. hence why i'm in here, even with my less-than-lovely mood. my mother has exploded a little bit, getting some of her seething rage on me and i'm still a bit peeved. she hates me to get angry and it always ends up with her acting like a child and going unreasonably insane. i don't dislike my mother but i can't stand her when she's like this. oh poof - tonight will make up for it ^-^. you don't know what kind of lovely people my friends are, that they can make light of any situation and turn it into something wonderful. even the guys!

indeed, you know - josh, ryan and paul remind me of the three men on "full house". really. a lot. josh is so bob saget, it's passed frightening and back to charming again. ryan isn't as dorky but is as funny as joey, and he's blond so it works. and then paul is the male model, "watch the hair", pseudo-fonzie type just like danny (bet you thought that type of guy was almost extinct, mm?). and then clare is d.j., kara is stephanie, tweak is michelle, and i'm the weird neighbor kimmie who comes over a lot and say "hey mr. t!" and doesn't grasp the bad eighties pun of it all.

i would really like to rent "punch drunk love" again - i was thinking about that yesterday. it reflects so much how i feel liking someone...you just want to beat up a bathroom and kick in a bunch of glass screens to get all that "love" stuff out. but of course, because adam sandler was the main character in a movie about love, everything works out for him. not so for me. and now i'm not sure i want it to, on some level, because i kind of want things to stay as they are. "kind of" being the operative phrase. i don't actually know what i want.

are you having fun listening to me ramble about my feelings? isn't it weird? well, i'll be shushing now anyway. <3, have a lovely evening.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)