suddenly i'm not dreaming - hello, i'm still here

9:39 p.m. x 2003-11-21

really really i'd give anything to be how you are. to be able to repress and deny and pretend to be absolutely positively the opposite of what you are. and then still be able to smile about it.

i hate what i am. you don't hate what you are but you're far, far from okay with it. i'd love to be able to talk about it someday with you. i'd love to be able to talk with you in general. about anything.

I
REALLY
REALLY
FEEL
DEEPLY
ABOUT
YOU.

i guess. i don't know. anymore.

i'm not connected to anything. i can't feel anything about anyone and they can't feel anything about me.

WHY
CAN'T
I BE
RIGHT
?

(((p.s., i love bethany <333 and you aren't a bitch, you are a cupcake)))

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11