LIE TO ME. TELL ME THAT I'VE BEEN SICK FOREVER, AND ALL OF THIS WILL MAKE SENSE WHEN I GET BETTER.

5:45 p.m. x 2003-12-16

my stomach is eating away at itself. i want to reach down into myself and grip my wretching, nervous insides until it all fuzzes out and falls asleep. i don't want to be back here again, where every responce is wrong and every feeling is inappropriate and I CAN'T MOVE A FUCKING INCH WITHOUT SOMETHING GOING INEXPLICABLY, HORRIBLY WRONG.

or, it is most probable...i am exagerating the whole thing and am actually quite safe and secure in this place, and the only thing awry is my sleeping pattern...

BREATHE NO MORE
evanescence

i've been looking in the mirror for so long
that i've come to believe my souls on the other side
oh the little pieces falling, shatter
shards of me
too sharp to put back together
too small to matter
but big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
if i try to touch her
and i bleed, i bleed
and i breathe, i breathe no more
take a breath and i try to draw from my spirits well
yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child
lie to me
convince me that i've been sick forever
and all of this
will make sense when i get better
i know the difference
between myself and my reflection
i just can't help but to wonder
which of us do you love

...if only.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11