6:49 p.m. x 2004-02-18

things were exactly the same as this just a little bit ago, maybe not even a month, and i gotta tell ya. i'm not interested, not a little, not an ounce, not a teensy weensy little bit, in doing this as often as bimonthly due to a LACK OF HUMAN CONSIDERATION AND UNDERSTANDING OF PERSONAL BOUNDARIES. i'm not a funnel, i'm not a device, i'm not a mechanism. i do not need weekly counseling to tell me SOMETHING AS HORRENDOUSLY SIMPLE AS THAT but rather to embarrassingly bemoan how NO ONE ELSE SEEMS TO BE AWARE OF IT. AND HOW HORRIBLY DUMB THAT IS.

i'd just like to meet an intelligent person. maybe it was the environment i came up in but i simply don't believe you can be intelligent and NOT be considerate, compassionate, have an ounce of NICE in you SOMEWHERE. I HAVE MET VERY FEW INTELLIGENT PEOPLE. what's the name of the ancient empire that is present day iraq & iran? i don't give a fucking SHIT, that person over there is really upset and really hurt by her friends' lack of understanding of her feelings!

i can count on one hand the intelligent people i've met in my lifetime. don't even DARE to presume you're on it because i happen to know several GENIUSES who've never professed to be a single thing other than my friend which earns them REAL, INNUMERABLE, CLOUD-HIGH LEVELS OF RESPECT.

speaking of which - manda is the coolest person alive. she's got a mind & heart as expansive as the skies and she puts up with so much. between the two of us we are the most battered basket of neurosis but we've managed to pull it off for six years through a (if not always) mutual understanding of each others' paranoia and quirky security issues. a staggering feat, concidering how many apiece we amount to. enough to scare a nation of OCD-ers out of their habits.

alright, enough of that. i'm going to go shop (immenant FEAR).

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)