4:10 p.m. x 2004-02-21

i dreamt that a friend and i were running away from something and we were hiding out in the most gorgeous hotel room. everything was gold and green, and there was a fruit basket on the table. i was dream-ecstatic, it reminded me, i suppose, of something really good. possibly the party i went to when i was really little and i dressed up as a cat. but it was bothering me that my friend in the dream didn't really seem to be there. when people were trying to beat the door in she didn't look like she cared. i don't know who it was supposed to be in the dream because i always dream an anonymous figure in their place, but i know who my mind is referring to...

now. i need to go shopping today. when my mood is wallowing, the gratuitous spending of my parents' income cheers me up innumerably. i'm hoping there's some winter stuff on sale, *plots*, i HATE HATE HATE spring, and the only thing i HATE more than spring is SPRING FASHION. gaaah...the only good thing about spring is my birthday. other than that i have full-on fast-acting ANTISAD (seasonal affective disorder, recently featured on vh1's "best week ever", widely suffered, widely annoying). i'm in a warm fuzzy place during the winter, and i become a hostile basket case over the summer (you'll have to trust me here, as this diary is just like a tenth of myself gone through a filter - i always seem like a hostile basket case...).

mmm, my one true love. i'm glad i'm finally going to be able to refurbish my room, i've had the same furniture since i was six, which accomodates a six-year-old's belongings, not a sixteen-year-old's. but nothing can top the horrid-room-ness that is chez paul. i can't even walk in there. the smell is overpowering (i'm not exaggerating one bit when i insist it brings tears to one's eyes - it's TERRIBLE). urgh...

...i slept on my hair funny...

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)