hard drugs & bad luck, yeah yeah yeah

8:00 p.m. x 2004-03-03

when i saw this "certain person" today, i turned to kara and made a "silent scream", and she toppled over in laughter. then i went to clare's and learned that guitar class has lied to me and those aren't REAL chords i'm playing. haha - fantastic.

but i can still play my bass. so i win. and look...these are nice lyrics...

darkness at the break of noon
shadows even the silver spoon
the handmade blade, the child's balloon
eclipses both the sun and moon
to understand you know too soon
there is no sense in trying
pointed threats, they bluff with scorn
suicide remarks are torn
from the fool's gold mouthpiece
the hollow horn plays wasted words
proves to warn
that he not busy being born
is busy dying
temptation's page flies out the door
you follow, find yourself at war
watch waterfalls of pity roar
you feel to moan but unlike before
rou discover
that you'd just be
one more person crying
so don't fear if you hear
a foreign sound to your ear
it's alright, ma, i'm only sighing
as some warn victory, some downfall
private reasons great or small
can be seen in the eyes of those that call
to make all that should be killed to crawl
while others say don't hate nothing at all
except hatred
disillusioned words like bullets bark
as human gods aim for their mark
made everything from toy guns that spark
to flesh-colored christs that glow in the dark
it's easy to see without looking too far
that not much
is really sacred
while preachers preach of evil fates
reachers teach that knowledge waits
can lead to hundred-dollar plates
goodness hides behind its gates
but even the president of the united states
sometimes must have
to stand naked
and though the rules of the road have been lodged
it's only people's games that you got to dodge
and it's alright, ma, i can make it
advertising signs that con you
into thinking you're the one
that can do what's never been done
that can win what's never been won
meantime life outside goes on
all around you
you lose yourself, you reappear
you suddenly find you got nothing to fear
alone you stand with nobody near
when a trembling distant voice, unclear
startles your sleeping ears to hear
that somebody thinks
they really found you
a question in your nerves is lit
yet you know there is no answer fit to satisfy
insure you not to quit
to keep it in your mind and not forget
that it is not he or she or them or it
that you belong to
although the masters make the rules
for the wise men and the fools
i got nothing, ma, to live up to
for them that must obey authority
that they do not respect in any degree
who despise their jobs, their destinies
speak jealously of them that are free
cultivate their flowers to be
nothing more than something
they invest in
while some on principles baptized
to strict party platform ties
social clubs in drag disguise
outsiders they can freely criticize
tell nothing except who to idolize
and then say god bless him
while one who sings with his tongue on fire
gargles in the rat race choir
bent out of shape from society's pliers
cares not to come up any higher
but rather get you down in the hole
that he's in
but i mean no harm nor put fault
on anyone that lives in a vault
but it's alright, ma, if i can't please him
old lady judges watch people in pairs
limited in sex, they dare
to push fake morals, insult and stare
while money doesn't talk, it swears
obscenity, who really cares
propaganda, all is phony
while them that defend what they cannot see
with a killer's pride, security
it blows the minds most bitterly
for them that think death's honesty
won't fall upon them naturally
life sometimes
must get lonely
my eyes collide head-on with stuffed graveyards
false gods, i scuff
at pettiness which plays so rough
walk upside-down inside handcuffs
kick my legs to crash it off
say okay, i have had enough
what else can you show me
and if my thought-dreams could be seen
they'd probably put my head in a guillotine
but it's alright, ma, it's life, and life only
it's alright, ma, i'm only bleeding

...i don't even ramble that bad...

"passion" tomorrow. OHYES OHYES OHYES!

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11