never failed to feel

10:01 p.m. x 2004-05-19

i owe ryan my summer, considering. you know. considering. i might as well throw myself into work. hardcore. look at what a start i've got, i've got the beginning stages of a great idea, and we can spend all summer orchestrating that idea into something we can both be proud of, and...

...christ is the wind ever out of my sails.

i never questioned my personal worth for a long period of time, definitely not long enough to get hung up on it and spend time thinking about it. but i'm beginning to wonder about certain reactions. certain recurrences. certain bullshit.

but because i make momentous issues out of nothing, because i am insensitive, and because i am THAT WAY, i suppose, that is that, and i'm just gonna sit through that thing that next year while you cower and cry because you've got class with the bad kid.

some people love having a class with their best friends. nope, not mine. "oh shit, she's in my class...oh my god, what are you going to do?! why do you have to be so mean?!" i love you, too. and didn't we JUST HAVE A CLASS TOGETHER??? AND DIDN'T YOU LIVE THROUGH THAT WITH WHATEVER YOU WANTED INTACT??? respect or something, i don't know what a priority is to you.

my priority is you. it'd be nice to see that sentiment echoed once or twice. just an idea.

FUCK IT, LOCKED.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11