9:57 p.m. x 2004-05-25

i like kate hudson. the roles she pursue don't exactly thrill me, but she doesn't grate on my nerves. i wish her no harm, basically. so i was happy to see her on the cover of "vogue" for june, and relaxed after school the other day to read the interview.

of course, quite a bit of the article is about how pregnancy affected her weight, and you know what? i got a little ticked. one learns to accept that sort of thing from "vogue" et al, but, what, are you blind?! THE GIRL LOOKS FUCKING AMAZING. they alluded to her "curves" and, most importantly, that she was extremely happy with the figure motherhood gave her, but still had to sneak in the bit that she's returning to a diet regime. shame.

because she looks incredible.

and just the other week, i got my summer "bust" issue, and the "pop tart" was an editorial on how the media plays with the words and phrases surrounding a woman's "curve".

well...

i just happen to be from one of those "hooray for you" environments, where i just got the attention. so i didn't feel awkward or inadequate about weight or anything like that until i think i was ready, which even then wasn't that extreme of a change: yeah, a little makeup and hair color. just to the effect i wanted. and i felt extremely good about my body until i started having respiratory issues (38D ladies and gentlemen, comes with the territory), to which i began subscribing to a lose diet plan (and walking, the only kind of exercise i can do) which has so far proven effective. as effective as diets go with me - i don't own a scale, and judge progress as to how i feel.

sometimes i feel really great and happy about my body, other times i resent it. but overall, i appreciate it. i'm not a size 2 but i'm not a size 22 either, and i've got an "X" figure (out at the bust, in at the waist, out at the bum). so i'm hard to clothe according to department stores? oh well.

but what is all this business about "curves", and treating a figure like it's a mysterious discovery akin to hotpants and tweed jackets...and the heinously confusing mixed message that it entails: everyone from "xtina" to the oleson twins are allowed to have curves, but if used to describe a non-success, this must mean the poor girl is spilling out of her old navy top with six sharp creases before you get to those stylin' low-riders. huh? no. you've missed the point entirely, media. leave curves alone. you were better off with campaigning bulimia, at least you did that well because you called it "thin" and it WAS thin. now it's also "curvey", unless...you know, you get it.

i don't know what the hell this is all about or why it's an issue, but the fact that i began with still stands: kate hudson is very attractive. that's right. that's what this whole entry was about...

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)