3:04 p.m. x 2004-07-23

SO.

that kind of sting of being considered a threat, an abberation and the sick power that churns up out of all that resentment. that is a grand fucking thing and a character-building thing. but it is volatile and something you wince at sometimes and something you cannot find to relate to 100th as often as i am unloved and i am sad and alone. how often does I AM A FORCE OF FUCKING NATURE come along?

that was very, very important for me to have at that turn of events, at not being naive anymore, not feeling safe and feeling sometimes scary and hideously awkward and ENRAGED. it was so great to have that fit perfectly into something. great and hopeful and empowering.

SO.

i hope that there's a comfort like that for her, that she was for me (i was at dorney park when i heard about courtney's hospital thing and i missed a roller coaster over it).

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)