You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

caught under a subtle crashing & burning of the spirit today & yesterday. determined to not let that deter me from at least the one thing, being a hobby since i was thiiis big, the other which of course isn't extravagantly important, definitely not important enough to mention...i'm going to dodge that in every way shape or form, i'm going to get mad and i'm going to back off, be quiet and think and maybe even ask about it some time soon. i don't believe so, though, because it would turn out something that would sound hideously like..."well, i'm sorry you feel that way. i'm sorry you took that comment that way, but, you suck, etc etc, and regardless of my being your friend i still wouldn't give you even the slightest amount of public recognition because, well, we're only friends because we have to be".

at one time or another the perpatrator in question has said all those things in a similar vein to any number of people. on average, this individual of questionable intellect has had more allied on it's side than i have. a big time square-sized DUH to those of us who don't think hormones rule the world. it'd just be utterly fucking middle school of me to argue with or get angry at that.

i guess it's just a lonely feeling then. but there's kara for that.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)