9:48 p.m. x 2004-10-28

there are rude and hateful sides to everyone, and nothing says rude and hateful like blatantly debasing the deepest and most personal of another's beliefs. the base systems that calculate somebody's outlook on the world constitute primarily of their attitude towards moral, interpersonal issues. that says something about a person, another way that screams awfully loud is how they feel about the moral and interpersonal issues as interpreted by the individual sitting on either side of them.

that last part's usually pretty gross.

as long as i've been aware of things and felt that things make sense and can be applied to me, i've never been in any kind of position to defend myself unless it was for a grade. i'm not morally challenged because i'm very sound in my beliefs - i'm okay with what i think, and that's where it stops. i stop where i stop and my beliefs don't extend beyond me. other people have some of them, and when i meet people like that it's great, but i don't care if somebody else doesn't think what i do. it was never something that bothered me, the differing thing. something that does bother me, vastly and vehemently, is when somebody else can't extend that mutual courtesy over my way. that they can't be just contented with their beliefs and feeling how they feel, that they have to hammer it out in all directions at the top of their lungs, that REALLY irritates me. including when i share the hammering opinion, because it cheapens it to pompous, vacant bullshit and there's PLENTY coming in from both the left & right.

one thing i like: how everyone feels lied to. at such times, it creates a feeling of unity. blithering, all-encompassing paranoia never drove people together quite like this.

on a brighter note (along the same dark and rant-y little lines), i am overwhelmingly proud of everybody involved in the school's political arena. props to bethany for her presidency in the teenage republicans, but i have to give it up for tweak and the young democrats, because that is her baby. she was aware and determined to get a little movement organized in something she's so empassioned over, and that's a beautiful thing. it's made me incredibly angry to hear her name used in a way another girl's name was used before she graduated, the popular perception (i didn't know her) being that this girl was a narrow, steamrolling overachiever who had a hand in everything and monopolized whatever she did. that is NOT tweak by any stretch of the mind. overachieving is when one goes beyond the call of one's abilities to look impressive. everything that tweak does, she does because that is her level. she is where she is because she's always astir, not because she "HAAAAAS TO GET AN A" or she'll "DIIIIIE". whatever the reason is for the extracurricular overload - college application decorum? well & good, but she doesn't need it. you would be insanr to turn tweak away. i don't think this girl they liken tweak to would have ever had the guts to organize something based on a belief she knows isn't popular with the majority of the school. audacity freaks the hell out of people, because they don't have it. nobody here needs it.

audacity, good.
breast milk, bad.

what i think was trying to worm its way out of this entry is that being political is far from a negative thing. being empassioned is the best and most admirable quality that certainly enhances one's standing as a political individual, but can be shot to shit with being RUDE AND HATEFUL. i don't know, or really can't think of any one person right now out of nowhere who is truely rude and hateful when it comes to their interpersonal relations. because everybody gets that way (nobody stays that way, which is why who i'm affiliated with who i'm affiliated with). just watch out.

oooh...queenadreena.com is back.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)