by and by we'll defy a little bit of gravity

8:38 p.m. x 2004-12-21

1
KARA IS SEVENTEEN!, as of yesterday...which was too shitty a day to write about. today wasn't, though, today bethany and kara brightened my day with lively conversation and i was a crab with clare. laura mercier vanilla cream puff body wash is awfully close to my idea of a deity.

i'm so pensive right now. i really freaked out yesterday (which was not because of the assembly...which really did not help at all...nor the fact that it was followed by lunch...) and i tried to channel that and it didn't work. that was a very unproductive, sleepy smack of neurosis. i watched "eyes wide shut" on dvd (triumph!), which...i did not know, now i know, that my dvd player...when it plays a dvd, and i go to sleep...i fall asleep watching movies a lot...it just keeps repeating the movie...so i 'watched' "eyes wide shut" 2.25 times the other night. like i don't all ready know large chunks of dialogue from that film.

2
i know everything is different (things tend to be), but that doesn't mean they can't be nice. i'm putting all my effort into making my senior year cool...i think you're just indulging in something right now that you didn't get to before...i think you've found people you click with in a way that you needed to click, that you didn't click with our mutual friends. everybody needs a couple of clicks. a couple of cliques. it's a skill to come to a balance, and this is something new...so...

...just, hey, make time for me & them, too.

3
oh vivica, i wish you well
i watch you burn in humid hell
no sleeping pills, no old tattoos will save you now
he'll never change, he's just too vague
he'll never say you're beautiful
oh vivica, i wish you well
i really do, i really do
the apple falls far from the tree
she's rotten and so beautiful
i'd like to keep her here with me
and tell her that she's beautiful
she takes the pills to fall asleep
and dreams that she's invisible
tormented dreams she stays awake
recalls when she was capable
oh vivica, i wish you well
i watch you sit, i watch you dwell
no crooked spine, no torn up rag will save you now
he'll never change, he's not that brave
he'll never say you're beautiful
oh vivica i wish you well
i really do, i really do
the apple falls far from the tree
she's rotten and so beautiful
i'd like to keep her here with me
and tell her that she's beautiful
she takes the pills to fall asleep
and dreams that she's invisible
tormented dreams she stays awake
recalls when she was capable
oh vivica, i wish you well
i'll sit right here, i'll never tell
no tender scar, no twist of fate will save you now
he'll never change, he's just not there
he'll never say you're beautiful
oh vivica, i wish you well
i really do, i really do
the apple falls far from the tree
she's rotten and so beautiful
i'd like to keep her here with me
and tell her that she's beautiful
she takes the pills to fall asleep
and dreams that she's invisible
tormented dreams she stays awake
recalls when she was capable
she's empty and so beautiful, i'll keep her here with me
she's empty and so beautiful, i'll keep her here with me
she's empty and so beautiful, i'll keep her here with me
she's empty and so beautiful, i'll keep her here with me

jack off jill, "vivica"

(quick edit: two years in a row i have mentioned kara's birthday retroactively. i suck.)

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11