5:49 p.m. x 2005-01-10

tweak was right: the playing of "mean girls" against the Guest Room Show was too painfully appropriate. & i could use a good up-till-six back-and-forth about something cool.

1
the too-fast evaporation of intensely hateful feelings couldn't have just disappeared in a poof, i knew they went somewhere and they were going to loom back...granted, that was a lot sooner than i'd imagined. but then, i remember when that used to happen to me.

if i were going to give you advice i was say: get thee hell out of the place you're in right now because you're going to rot there. everything good about you will erode. i don't know if you remember how angry she makes you once you talk, and that's important to think about...and she does put you in a lot of bad ways...

not to demonize her. she isn't my BFF.

and also: do you know why that's bothering you? this is a great practice: you start broad, why am i mad?. then you go a little more specific, why does that make me mad?. and then why would that be such a sore, scary subject?...

i believe in you to be able to pull out of that. "that", so to say, "that" is not a person but a bad, afflicting spiral of YUCK.

dude, i wrote this and then i didn't put anything after "1"? so here's "2"

2
this season's "surreal life" is going to kick ass! (p.s., i believe in you)

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)