decide between survival and bliss

11:36 p.m. x 2005-04-09

  • i will complete a 17000-word work of fiction, NOW. or, within the month.
  • i rented "sideways" and "vera drake" and i'm very excited that blockbuster has "songs from the second floor". sometimes that shithole surprises me.
  • i may have to make a rash decision, but...i need a springboard. even if drastic measures get taken, i am on a mission! i cannot let the unpleasant stand in my way! i'm not going to be discouraged even if i must cut off all communication and get my hermit on...things will get done! (now, i don't want to never speak to anybody again, but...i may start speaking in code or something, i don't know.)
  • the best revenge is living.
  • i'm so excited i cannot begin to put it into words...i know, it may not be the way i would've liked it to be, but i cannot be flighty and judgemental about it anymore. THIS HAS TO MOVE, HAS TO START HAS TO GET GOING and i have ruined years doing things, way worse things, this is so another level entirely. it's a springboard! it's a door, even if it isn't the palace door, it's a door down the long and arduous hallway to the best place in the world...

    you'll see me, you'll sure see me when i'm there.

    if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
    pieces of the moon
    JOBJOBJOB
    interviewinterviewinterview
    sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
    (& etc)

  • anybody can be just like me, obviously.
    not too many can be like you, fortunately.
    KL 02-11