f�rchtet euch? - f�rchtet euch nicht!

10:18 p.m. x 2005-05-12

i had sooo much fun after school today. i felt really ameless and harried during second and third block, math and stats don't bother me because i really like mrs. z and those classes are very lax and very very easy to grasp. if she'd been my math teacher in years past i'd be in honors calculus. she's amazing. i have a very, very low grade in parenting right now but the teacher in there, who isn't bad either, said today that if i just made everything with a zero up, my grade would improve normally. so i'm all over that (i'm missing this big block of work from never going to class...i absolutely hate being certain places in third block, i go reeling that time of day, i'm totally gone).

i stayed after today and was thrown into this miasma of tabloidary and ho-y drama perpetuated by a very unprofessional member of the faculty. this individual persistantly bitches and rants in a very negative manner about students behind their backs, myself chief amongst them, and has had a history of failing to notify students of their wrong-doings and then rejecting their projects (like failing an assignment that s/he's checked several times before, having plenty of notice to point out the wrongs...like your errors just ENRAGED this person so much s/he just COULDN'T say anything about it!) and abdicating them of responsibilities without informing them and WASTING A LOT OF TIME. I'VE NEVER SEEN A TEACHER WASTE TIME LIKE THAT. i should know. i'm never doing what i should be doing (though i'm never wasting time, i'm just dedicating it to a personal cause, i'm usually writing).

so this individual has gone on a crusade against me lately, and today i heard all about it. i all ready knew about it but today it was full-on MEAN GIRLS action. the fiery fire of a thousand lindsay lohans. it was pretty gross and pathetic, and i just went on my way. this person doesn't even know what s/he's criticizing and railing against. s/he needs to shuthefuckup, and DO IT'S JOB (or, preferably, some other job, faaar away from me).

after that blew over, clare and i froliced with heather&jimmy, the dynamic duo. that kicked ass. there was dr. pepper and the pandering of questionable IQs...like a tender scene straight out of "forrest gump". clare wrapped herself in cardboard and blew through the halls. jimmy was thrust aback by my amazing feats of art show display and heather proudly waved PROM PHOTOGRAPHY of she and jimmy, looking blissfully wed.

on a pessimistic footnote, i have very low physical self-esteem right now and am SOOOOOOOO ANGRY about it. and i really don't want to lift weights anymore in gym because a) i'm scared to be around large freeweights right now et b) the place is wall-to-wall mirrors. AGH.

it's so agonizing, because i'm attractive. i just have these aspects that need to be undone.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
� KL 02-11