7:04 p.m. x 2005-07-25

(there is nervous laughter)...i never thought i'd be getting my money's worth out of this CD, but it seems i was wrong (nervous cackling warps into eerie silence as she darts around the room to make sure nobody sees her). i can't even describe it. but i have listened to it several times now. and it is a sit-down-and-listen-to-it-the-whole-way-through deal. it functions in the big picture.

i am weakened. i have lost. idolatry has won. i think the past three young men i have had crushes on are the very same person WITH THE VERY SAME WARDROBE and very similar voices. the similarities, in fact, when closely examine, are capable of putting one off a tad. like, hey, k, what variety you've got goin' on here.

thick, pasty young men with reedy voices (this is a bigger requirement than it is coincidence), a hint of gay (inescapable, i say), and a morbid streak (as evidenced by loretta lynn, the song "leslie anne levine", and the odd xanax addiction). the great deviant to this formula as of late has been cillian murphy, who is placed in his own special category for the cork accent. has there been anybody else...?

i'm not physically attracted to very many people. if you grope way back in this diary you'll encounter a month or more where i was really into joaquin phoenix, but we've since parted ways (mostly due to creative differences surrounding "the village"). yeah...not too many boys. but hell if i'm not consistent!

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)