the candles blew then disappeared, the curtains flew then he appeared saying don't be afraid

4:40 p.m. x 2005-09-07

my buddylist is totally WACKY. not too many germans know what WACKY means, as i now know. heck things are bleary...

{i want to un-bleary them, i thought everything was going fine on saturday but there is still something? well duh there's still something if xangas are any indication, if you happen on past this in your travels...i don't believe anybody reads it anymore, i write in it for the same reason i always have, and that's for me to sort throgh stuff... - i want to talk to you, i would never ignore you, i would avoid "asking for it", though, so call me next you're alone.}

if i could go back in time and talk to me i would scowl, sit beside myself and say: "i like to think i know you pretty well. a heady presumtion, yes, but let me tell you something, kiddo: you know that things stop being real after a while, no self respecting psycho flits around unaware of reality's propensity to disintegrate...well, i have news for you: you can handle everything that you know to crumble around you. you can take it.

but the things in your head that you're so damn scared of, they'll be real one day, and then you are in fucking trouble, myssi. like HELL."

i'd say that to me. i wouldn't get much farther after that because little me would be on top of a mountain within minutes, never heard from again. everyone spared.

*deflating noise* hey, i'm talking to heather! sweet!

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11