You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

i have my computer back 99% of the way. all the programs that were downloaded are gone now, which is, all things considered, what was best needed, and all my files came home this time. the only (glaring) problem being that our publisher was deleted and i can't access MANY of my files, namely the files i was so worried about...but they're installing it for free tomorrow. that's reasurring.

i feel better about myself than i ever have before. i'm really excited about everything. i'm faultering (a lot) in math and art, but i'm really on it to do better and to pass. everything else, though, is really good, and it just comes from me and not from external forces. and that's a little bit of it. i'm really glad that i don't need external forces to generate positive energy for myself, i can do it fine. i'm really happy and really REALLY excited, way beyond the anticipation of senior year. the tangibility of getting away from this area is certainly lending itself. my ability to generate my own income. I'M FINALLY BEGINNING TO RECOGNIZE MYSELF.

and that's so important. i'm getting to really like the way that i look. and i love winter.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)