never any feeling inside

8:50 p.m. x 2006-02-16

jimmy, eduardo and i hung out today. they're starting a european speed metal band! now, granted, european speed metal & i, we have a rocky history, but for the sheer novelty of it, i think it's kickass. because of the other local bands, there is josh's brother's hideously emo outfit, there's alex's boyfriend's band whom i like very much but are well set in their basicness, there's this terrible new little group that i refuse to even enter into a description of (because i have a personal vendetta against them, concerning my plans one night and concerning my best, most wonderful friend jimmy), there are just no good local bands.

unless you count the mock assembly of clare, myself and a kazzoo. we tour the lake and recite the AFI catalog (i could say that i hate AFI [and i do], but i don't care in the least of ways what the hell anybody thinks i listen to).

i don't have as much spite in me as i let on. i'm just very defensive and very very tired. oh my GOD i have NEVER been this consistently EXHAUSTED in my life! for the past several nights in a row i've passed-out in the midst of doing other things at relatively early hours (by my standards). i've also been eating like absolute shit. today i had a muffin at school (the funds for which i gleaned from alex, fuck me), a bowl of cereal upon arriving home, a bowl of meat and cheese a little later, and the odd pepperoni from a pizza that i bought jimmy and eduardo in exchange for an itunes gift card!

things are going to be okay, after all. even if my relaying the wrong set of facts to kara has resulted in no good, i'm going to make it up to her tomorrow night. she and i are going to dance tenderly and forget the people who have caused pain, intentional or otherwise. go us for getting caught up in the romantic neuroses of others!

...i don't know what to think about my valentine's day bear, but i do like him...

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11