You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

oh lord.

oh dearest young man
teach me sweetheart
how to love you
i'm a clever girl
you've got me lying
you've got me leaving home
you've got me crying
when i'm alone
when i'm not with you my dreams are so very dark
when i'm not with you i dream of my hair falling out
when i'm not with you i walk dark tunnels of my heart
when i'm not with you everything comes apart

pj harvey, "it's you"

i just sneezed all over myself. again. i'm really weak and jittery. i'm also due to get my period. i'm in a fragile state, in my defense. i'm losing weight again and i'm really cold all the time.

all i want is an arm around my shoulder and a face against mine saying "it'll be all right, hang in there". i'm going over to clare's today. she was supposed to come by last night but couldn't make it. she'll do that, she'll tell me to hang in there and give me a hug.

but...

holy water cannot help you now
your mysterious eyes cannot help you
selling your reason will not bring you through
the desperate kingdom of love

pj harvey, "the desperate kingdom of love"

...i need to work some shit out. i need my own thursday.

(and happy eighteenth birthday, duff.)

promises, promises
i'm feeling burned
you taught me a lesson
i didn't want to learn
why did i come here?
please tell me again
why did you ask me?
don't say you forget!
i long for, i long for
i long for my home
i long for a land where
no man was ever known
with no neurosis
no psychosis
no psychoanalysis
and no sadness
i'll pick up the pieces
i'll carry on somehow
tape the broken parts together
and limp this love around

pj harvey, "the darker days of me & him"

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)