You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

SHIT WON'T STOP BEING CRAZY!

however...i'm no longer concerned with it. i'm not beset by it. nothing is keeping me awake past when it should. i don't feel the pangs of moral dilemma clapping unceasing at my skull...let the chips fall where they may. i've got an assload of perplexity to overcome before i make ANY sound decisions.

there i go again...with the shaking...ugh...

anyhow, ALIYA came out this past weekend. yes! AAALIYAAA! she arrived right after clare and i got home from school on friday, and then jimmy swung by at the same time. tweak appeared for a short time, and kara came over and we went to the pizza place, then to clare's where aliya and i spent the night. the morning was absolutely priceless...actually that ensuing day was, i believe, THE WEIRDEST GODDAMN DAY OF MY LIFE. with every connotation attached to "weird" that one is capable of attaching. good, bad and speculative.

it began with me waking up sans-aliya and seeing clare and elisa in the doorway, wondering aloud as to my status of awake/asleep. they then informed the suddenly awake me that they were off to give kenzie an intervention. aliya and i had breakfast downstairs and clare's parents left, leaving us alone as i loudly and emphatically regaled aliya with stories of what a peculiar year it's been and why clare and i weren't so with-it with-it with each other. upon their return a bit later, i asked clare and elisa how the intervention went, and it seems that it had turned, somewhere along the lines, into a deal instead, which is...priceless.

then aliya and i were going to go meet tweak at CANCUN! so we got to cancun and tweak was extremely late, but she did compensate by shaving with her RAZR. we were then going to go to a movie called "the death of mr. lazarescu", however, tweak had to bow out to go on a swing-dancing excursion. kara still wanted to check the movie out, so aliya and i resolved to still go. tweak dropped us off at jimmy's place of employment to say hello and bide our time until the film began, which...oh, absurdist romanian dark comedy, it's a beautiful thing...

we basked in that glory until around ten-ish, when jimmy swung by and retrieved us from the ghetto. kara went home and jimmy, aliya, duff and myself made a "clockwork orange"-esque trip through the eveningy backroads. eventually duff was deposited and aliya, jimmy and i rolled around in the grass and pulled weeds up at the end of my street. somewhere along the lines of all of this i lost my "lolerskates" pin. i'll love you forever if you return to me my "lolerskates" pin. it means a lot. thank you.

then aliya and i watched "twin peaks" and "blue velvet", and then i went to work...then aliya and clare materialized at my house, aliya was shipped back off to her dad's in new jersey, and tweak spontaneously appeared. she, clare and i read christian pamphlets and i took pictures of them laugh like they were incredibly stoned. then tweak took clare and i to get green tea and then dropped us off at kara's, where there was a brief visit with the napoleon dynamite doll and a brisk walk before i went totally totally ballsfest and had to sit down. somewhere in there i ran out to sheetz with jimmy, which i hadn't done in ages, and then spoke to ken, which i hadn't done in slightly less than ages...approximately two days at that point, actually, but still. then i went flat and deliciously asleep.

today clare and i were lively and animated on the way to school, after having an extreme shouting match on the phone when i was with jimmy, duff and aliya. i understood math today! speech was charming...and then i was vehemently invited to join the video production club at school by a guy who i'm pretty certain overheard me using the phrase "absurdist romanian dark comedy". then kenzie's ex-boyfriend nate stood by and gawked while i talked to a guy about women's prisons, jimmy appeared, then clare and her new young man ian. myself and the four of them "didn't hang out" in the lobby then for a few minutes before jimmy and i embarked. we went to his place of employment and suspicious eyes were cast over us as we spent a half-hour in the break room, clicking around inventory. i pointed out all the movies on the wall that i need to see yet, loudly and freely, since ernesto wasn't there to sass at the fact that i've never seen "citizen kane".

so...it has been a very full weekend. i'm tired now, and a little perplexed.

but pretty damn happy (with...prospects).

but what's going to happen next?!

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)