You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

1. i love "honesty" by billy joel with all of my heart. like...i-sing-at-the-top-of-my-angrily-discordant-lungs-for-you kind of love. real love.

2. you left an "iiii miiissssss yooouuu" that was countered immediately by a message that said "call me". obey the away message, you mangey harlot, then you won't miss me anymore. gyah.

3. so...me. diet. start now. not anything at odds with my appearance, really, but i tend to feel better when i'm eating better. and yeah that means when i'm actually eating...so, i have to eat correctly in all respects. or else i'm going to continue to feel like hell physically. no more of this can go on. really.

going to bed at, like, eleven last night, though...really lifted the exhaustion. i appreciated it. thanks, me, for taking my ass to bed early. i needed it. what a pal.

4. the short description for today is the chemical formula for risperdal, an atypical antipsychotic primarily perscribed for schizophrenia, severe manic episodes occurring in bipolar disorder, and autism. all kinds of a good time. in a great many cases it has triggered SEVERE weight gain and promoted production of prolactin in it's users (read: i could milk you if you took enough of this). it was originally restricted to the use of treatment in schizophrenics back when it first began rolling in 93, however, since 03, it's started getting popular with the bipolar set. somewhere in between there, though, they started giving moderate doses to kids with aspergers and autism and found that it drew them out of isolation to a notable extent.

if you take enough of this stuff, you risk lactating. not kidding there. a friend of mine was on it. if you hop on this ride, monitor your dose very carefully, because if you don't take enough it'll apparently make you one irate little pepper, and if you take too much...see above. i'm doing a paper on this and i actually enjoy writing about it so much that i've written about it in my online diary. awe (as i leer at myself).

5. you'll not feel the drowning.

6. i hate checking my myspace at the computer lab like i am right now. i think that people look over at it, see it, and friend me. cause i've gotten several friend requests from people from this school that i do not know or speak to. this place is way too big on the stalker mentality. maybe that's all colleges, though. "oo...that person looks cool...i'll go find their myspace, then once we've exchanged creepy, cryptic messages, then we'll start having normal conversation".

eugh. i shudder. though perhaps a lot with these people, having them go right up to me and say "I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU FOREVER WHAT'S YOUR NAME I KNOW YOU FROM ANOTHER PLAIN OF EXISTENCE"...maybe that belongs on the creepy old 'net. and not in the lobby. as has happened to me more times than i feel like recounting.

what the hell, by the way, am i up to on this other plain of existence because i know EVERYONE there. all my social ability is devoted to another dimension? sexcellent. but why's it filtering over here???

aaahhh. you can tell i am so awake. you probably can't tell how happy i am because i sound rather snappy, but i am very oriented and very happy. i'm gonna go sing "honesty" to will and ed and hope it can compete with the spice girls onslaught.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)