what happened in the green kitchen?

8:43 p.m. x 2006-10-23

i used to be frenzied and panicked all the time. all the time. scared and nervous and jittery and anxious and buzzing and loud and my energy was everywhere and i couldn't shut up.

now i don't have anything to say. not that i want to say. i don't have THAT energy. i'm not scared or anxious or nervous. i could look foreward to something and not have it go very nicely, and i can go to sleep. i can not allow it to bother me like it once did, where it'd be the first words out of my mouth if you were to ask me how i'm doing.

not anymore.

of course that isn't like a snap thing, and i'm scrambling a little, but i'm going a step at a time. i'm very complacent. and i'm wearing a sweater. that's really really good.

today we watched a video of a really old psych experiment on compliance to see who would give a person high volt electroshocks merely if instructed by a man in a lab coat. the electroshock "patients" were out of the frame and made hilarious noises. the other week we watched the prison experiment on abused power and that was very riveting. pantsless leap frog.

i learned the function of the alt+tab key command today. the man who wrote "$30 film school" included a small section dedicated to the merits of key commands in the fight against carpel tunnel syndrome.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11