8:16 p.m. x 2007-03-13

there are days when i can just exhaust myself. the things my mind does. gah. i run myself ragged inside. trying to get a feeling nailed down. i have done a lot of growing since i started with this writing business. seriously started, that is, in seventh grade. and i'm going to be a junior in college. and i have very rarely abandoned an idea. i log them furiously and when they're good i commit to them. and they have come along with me, and i can see my progress. i can see how i treat people differently. i can see what i mean to gain by interacting with people.

i have improved VASTLY.

my writing is also a lot more expressive and a lot less transgressive than it once was. a LOT less. i once wrote and understood, and i still understand, everything was put in such an extreme context with such graphic scenarios because i had something that needed to get OUT OF ME. and i'm glad it got out. and i'm proud of it. for a long time, though, it wasn't thoroughly out. i can read it now a nd know it isn't in me anymore. they're no longer attached. and i will be able to handle them better now.

there remains only one piece of work of mine that i never felt as though i stepped out of. even when i walk away from it.

so that means i still have some progress ahea - hold on a minute, i'm going to go get laid. i promise i'll finish being deep tomorrow.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)