i'm finding it harder to be a gentleman every day

10:13 a.m. x 2007-03-22

not skipping math again, rather, i got out early because of a test. currently kind of achey and braindead from watching "the prestige" until untold hours of the evening. my thoughts got all bad and grabby about a friend of mine that i heard some ambivalent news about. well...geez. "ambivalent". it is something she has wanted but she's gotten it a bad way. i'm worried and concerned but they don't do much for the situation. there's not a whole lot that i can do. and there's not a whole lot she wants to do.

eugh.

jimmy and i got into a ridiculous misunderstanding yesterday and i didn't get to talk to him afterwards, hence all the prestigiousness late into the night. i have trouble sleeping on problems, and i handle things quickly and efficiently and i flat out can't sleep if i leave something unresolved. i'm like a sitcom, i've gotta wrap my shit up within a half-hour (or 45 minutes, if it's an issue of HBO proportions). it's not a big deal. it was just stupid. i hate stupid shit! AGH!

but i understand that it happens, and i understand i can get italian ice again. god, i don't want to go to philosophy. i could skip it, being as i do not need to do anything else at all until the final, but i'm not going to. i'll be responsible and i'll go.

if i could do annnything in the world right now though that is not motherfucking ETHICS it would be shopping. i want to go do something mindless and materialistic and get a new dress or a dvd. i have no money, and that that i have, i don't need to spend on either thing. which is good. i have $156 uncashed at the moment. it's the only way i can save up. my goal is to stave off on depositing it until i have $500, and to strive to keep that base $500 in my account at more or less all times. i'm telling you now that's bullshit and i'll never do it. but damn it i'm going to try! at least once.

gah.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11