a vine that can strangle life from a tree

11:43 p.m. x 2007-04-19

i've not felt that great lately, physically. and i'll tell you very blatantly why. i want to lose weight so bad, and i want like nothing to go back to restricting, but at the same time, i do not want to fuck my body up again because it will be cyclic and miserable in the long run, i know it isn't good. but today i had a bagel for breakfast, oatmeal for lunch, and a small bowl of spaghetti for dinner, and i feel miserable about it. and that's quite fucking insane.

i don't wish i was thin more than i wish i just didn't give a shit. it's so fucking stupid.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11