10:08 p.m. x 2007-05-25
i'm well on my way to a new layout.
suddenly i'm freezing. it was swealtering all day, gah. lexi and amanda picked me up for lunch when i was still sleeping. i went with them to the art show to see their displays, then lexi and i went back out until their awards ceremony. jimmy, duff, akasha, danielle, heather, etc. also made appearances throughout the day. and i was sweating the entire time, and now it is bitterly chilly.
i stole some art supplies for old time's sake and did a drawing in the art room. it's of lexi right now, but amanda will be in there too. my mom saw it as i was walking in and she flipped out. i haven't drawn in two years. i used to do that all the time. i took four art classes my senior year then stopped entirely. i think i'll start again, because i know i'm good and i could be as good as i once was again, and better.
mm...i have a chilly feeling beyond the intensity of the air conditioning. i feel so removed sometimes. i'm really in need of a long talk with somebody. to somebody, actually. she's said a fair amount to me and i've been pretty quiet back.
i just feel so walked on. i feel so taken advantage of. very dehumanized. it has been brutal lately. fleeting rumbles of it, but then i thought it didn't matter. lo, it really bothers me. i tend to be the last to find out about how i feel most of the time.
and it's a slap in the face, you know. like it always was. because i really love you. i just wish i could think of an instance beyond just one when i felt like you love me.
if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start