5:03 p.m. x 2007-05-31

i don't have a competative bone in my body. i've never been able to overcome the idea that i am incomperable to anybody else. i prefer it that way, but it has kept me out of a lot of activities i bet i could've won.

just a quaint example of me quietly being an ass.

in further news, i had quite a day. or, series of events. evening. two days. i woke up at four in the afternoon yesterday, watched "jacob's ladder" and willed myself to have my period. i was going to fucking freak if it didn't happen, because this month, i had a short stint of being an idiot. i missed a pill one day, and am never to do that again. the stress was too great. but that came as a vast relief, and "jacob's ladder" was mighty badass as well.

jimmy called upon getting off work and informed me that he, mackenzie, ernie and i would be convening. mackenzie wound up needing her rest, but duff joined us. being that i have no scholastic priorities at the moment, or a particular time my ass needs to be awake during the day, i thought i'd try drinking something. full throttle and rum was despicable, and i wasn't even going there, but pepsi and whiskey was perfectly fine. i am really not into the taste of alcohol, so my glass lasted all night and nothing became of me. i had one issue with speech, and that was, nice and ironically, with the word "articulation".

jimmy, duff, and ernie did shots. ernie got delightfully mushy about mackenzie and told us some sweet news. he and duff both fell asleep and jimmy rolled into the basement bedroom. i cleaned up everything and tried to join him, but after a brief interlude he concluded that he wouldn't get the rest he needed for work today, and so i slept by myself in the basement bedroom, jimmy went to his bedroom, and duff slept on the couch. i scooted ernie out with his liquor around 3. i think i slept from around 5 until 8, a little woeful that jimmy couldn't join me and distracted with other plights.

then, quite luckily, amanda called me at ten, having gotten out of school early, and asked if i wanted to hang out, so i was able to slip out of the house undetected by parents. i narrowly missed them, though, having to trot up to jimmy's bedroom and hug him goodbye, which was a sweet moment. i wish he could've slept with me, but i understood how it would've hindered him today. that bed's a weird experience. amanda and i then ran errands and visited ernie at work for brunch. i came home and took a BITCHIN walk and without a doubt have sunburn. wicked fucking sunburn. on my face.

upon entering the house i acquired a large glass of water and laid in bed naked for a little bit, bathed, and here you find me. quite a time. logic would dictate a nap about now. logic may have the right idea in this case. i'll go see.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)