10:07 p.m. x 2007-07-22
once i was in jimmy's basement with he and ernie. we were talking about stuff going on, jimmy was very stressed out with work and wanted to quit. he was really upset, and even though we were all talking and trying to relax, jimmy couldn't stop frustrating himself. he was really upset. we talked it all out, and i brought up my motto: "you can't control the actions of others, you can only control your reaction." being that that's my motto, i rarely ever remember to stand by it myself. similarly, ernie just suggested he "stop". lie back, sip something and watch "star trek", but just stop. when i feel like i can't control anything else that's going on around me, i think about this scene.
i think i want to feel powerful, and because i feel like i can't control myself and i don't have a lot of power over what i feel or experience, i grope for power outside of myself. i'm done with that. i surrender. "come what may". i'm not going to fight it.
THE ONLY PERSON THAT MAKES ME FEEL THIS BAD IS ME.
if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start