You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

i bought a gorgeous sweater today. i have a thing for sweaters.

and googlevideo! THANK YOU GOOGLEVIDEO! oh MAN that is the best! THE BEST EVER!!!

accomplishing my dorm shopping is an ambivalent satisfaction. i'm very excited to have my own space away from my family but it won't be my own space at first...and it'll be a considerable distance from my loved ones...i'm not all smiles about it but it doesn't really have me down. it has me neutral, but overwhelmed. i am overwhelmed with the neutrality, that's what i am.

i haven't met her yet but i'm a little bit peeved all ready...thinking about what facets of telephone-filtered "personality" contributed to she and i being paired together. my mom is the one who handled it, and i wonder if she told this housing director that i wear a lot of black, i like crazy shit, i've got gaggles of gigs of music on my computer. i wonder if that's what she said...because this black she speaks of refers to black dresses...sweaters and skirts and lockets and lace...i like to read about crazy shit but in my spare time i like to teach myself skills...like playing chess or listening to technical commentaries on foreign films...and all that music...i love all that music...but i can only hear it a tiny bit at a time. i'm crazily sound sensitive. i bite heads off for speaking when i don't feel like hearing noise. when i'm in that mood i can't even converse. i've always had a feeling that was the insomnia, or it had something to do with it. but regardless...i don't know about this girl...except that she's addicted to videogames...and she best get used to muting the TV (my TV, by the way) fast, or i will HAND HER HER ASS.

but only if i'm driven properly batshit. otherwise i'll take to sleeping in that large, eerie "student lounge" that resembles in feeling a preserved piece of "the shining" set. phantom piano player and all. we'll see how it goes. maybe i won't be so angry. maybe she'll mute the TV or put on a headset (if she has to hear the clicking beeping do-doot-doot-do-doot-DOOT business). as long as i can watch an episode of "scenes from a marriage" before i go to bed at night.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)