because: when you've had your heart broken it still hurts. you don't carry it around with you so close anymore but if it's thrown in your face it still hurts. it sucks to see what you had once, even if you rationally understand that it doesn't exist anymore. but when it was there, it was yours. i knew her then. it may make it easier but it doesn't make it all better to know that it's all gone and she doesn't exist like that anymore. i think i can cry if i see her. i didn't chase after her, i didn't say anything, she didn't even see me. i don't call her. i leave her alone. i don't try to be her friend again. I DID FOR A LONG TIME AND NOW I ACCEPT THAT I CAN'T BE HER FRIEND AGAIN. I'M OKAY WITH THAT NOW.

BUT I CAN STILL FUCKING BE SAD BECAUSE SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND ONCE AND I LOVED HER. uugh!

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)