you're not hopeless or helpless and i'd hate to sound cold, but you don't know what love is, you just do as you're told

7:46 p.m. x 2007-09-27

my mom sent me a package full of chocolate today, and i finally ordered borderliners, all of which is good. i went out to dinner with my roommate and her friends and got hot wings that didn't destroy me, also good. the weather is much better out.

i talked to aliya last night while i was in the midst of the weirdest anxiety attack ever. i was relaxing and drawing and my roommate turned on harry potter. i couldn't stop rubbing my face and my chest became tight and i had trouble breathing. it continued and worsened into talking to aliya. it was quite surreal. we still had an excellent talk. she's going to school next year after she's worked a good bit on the novel she's currently writing. she is kickass.

jimmy's probably not coming out again this weekend. his car died yesterday. i looked foreword to talking to him all day yesterday and i accidentally brought up something that upset him, and then he said he'd call back but didn't. when i called he was busy, and i went to bed crying. i'm frustrated about shit. my email clients are still all wacked out. i'm getting to that point where i really want to be by myself. i don't have any problem with my roommate, i just want to be alone. i want jimmy to be nice and make an affectionate gesture towards me. i want him to show me he wants to see me.

ugh.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11