my poor heart in two

10:18 p.m. x 2007-10-18

weird weird weird. i'm flailing in the deep end in a pool full of weird. it's not really very bad. hence, "weird". i have been working on this short story lately, and i think it's making it more pronounced. it is the most stream-of-consciousness thing i've done in years. i did something like it in eleventh grade but it was much more in terms of the character narrating it, much more slanted. this is barely slanted at all. it's much less filtered and true to certain experiences i've had, incorporating personal difficulties in a much more direct way than i have into anything else i've done. it's good. it's good to get it out and look at it. especially since i'm not so there anymore.

although a part of it is dealing with social trouble, which i've still got. not bad ones. not anymore. now i'm just lonely. it's still difficult. it's rough listening to people walk around outside at school at 3 a.m. and i am writing in my room. drinking faux mimosa. i want someone to toil in the night with and to come up with interesting things with. share observations. make fun together. a creative, energetic, resourceful person who does not get discouraged and knows how to see wonderful things.

i should put up a flyer on a bulletin board.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11