he's like a detuned radio

1:09 a.m. x 2007-12-04

i feel obnoxious when i write in here a lot, but hell. a) it's my diary, b) i'm not so intensely aware of its readership anymore...nor are any entries written about someone and may potentially be read by that person...hence, i shouldn't give a shit what i put in here, much less how much. and with that,

for the moment i'm feeling much much better. i am heading to bed and hoping not to dream again. after the previous entry i went to class and dinner and took a nap and had a very very terrible nightmare (aside: i have had another dream similar to this one, about a previous love triangle i happened into...*cough cough*...quite a while ago, and in it i held the girl's head underwater [not to kill her {i say although it was only a dream} but while i was screaming at her] and this one took place in a beach house, maybe water means something sinister to me). i am aspiring to no nightmares tonight.

i aspire merely to rest. to wake up in the morning and not feel sick with my stomach churning and my heart flipping shit. if indeed i do i'm marching to counseling after my class in the morning. i've heard funny things about those people but i can "do therapy" better than most people can (being that i am not self-indulgent and actually aspire to get rid of or handle my problems with myself, to be very specific the one i'd like to tackle here is my inability to shift my focus from things, a very longstanding problem, not the fact that i was fucked over by a petty little boy, which does not have any merit as a traumatic event).

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)

anybody can be just like me, obviously.
not too many can be like you, fortunately.
KL 02-11