You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

currently listening to: "too busy sinking" by katie jane garside

i'm in the little room in the library and i'm going to work on my short story as much as physically possible. right after i write this.

on monday i was so down i couldn't function. it's been better since then but today i freaked out at dinner. i felt so alone in my head and all my interaction with people is so superficial and i couldn't sit and eat, i just had to leave. i don't actually have faith in the situation getting better, i just aspire to build more resiliance against it.

taking care of myself has helped. i am on a serious diet and focusing on getting a lot of vegetables, and i can tell that's helping me physically feel better. wearing lipstick the other day raised my spirits, perversely. so i will do more of that sort of thing and keep myself to myself, away from malevolent forces.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)