7:50 p.m. x 2008-10-12

currently listening to: "spit to see the shine" by babes in toyland

i remember when my friends first began driving. my first two friends to have cars were paul and ryan. i have an incredibly vivid flashbulb-memory of he, clare and i listening to "c'mon, c'mon" by the von bondies, which came out in 2004. i was either a junior or a senior by that point, but close to the end of high school so that i cried listening to it.

on another day, c'mon c'mon
with these ropes tied tight, can we do no wrong
now we grieve cause now is gone
things were good when we were young
when my teeth bite down, i can see the blood
of a thousand men who have come and gone
now we grieve cause now is gone
things were good when we were young

i do not believe they saw because i was sitting in the back and they were in the front, and i didn't want them to see and to know how much i loved them and didn't want high school to end for that reason and that reason alone. and even though after that's been great, at least now everything is beautiful, that song breaks me into a million awful bits all over the floor of dollar goodies where i'm calling clare, kara, paul, ryan, my mom's gonna be here any second and i told her we'd meet her in coconuts.

last night after my mom and sister left and i had taken a shower and cleaned up a little, i put on my ipod and danced. i can't remember but that was, i believe, the first time i've ever done this, and watching myself in the mirror i can-can'd to "leeds united" to celebrate having pumpkin roll in my fridge and no one living underneath me. a noteworthy college hilight.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)