You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

currently listening to: "the night pt. II" by the builders & the butchers

this weekend i am going to hole up and reread as i lay dying and read absalom, absalom!. i just bought the sound and the fury and that will (should) ship tomorrow. i will wait patiently for light in august until sometime next month-ish when we read it in modern & contemporary.

it's too cold to do anything else.

i am working on a new thing that's not authentically new, but essentially new. a concept that's finally found its niche. i want to work on this, revise my one short story from last semester and get things done for me and not for school. it does not take much to remind me that that's an important balance i have to remember to make or i get crazy and miserable. i am around to make things. i can only talk about the work of other people for the benefit of other people so much before i start going batshit insane.

i've made a good decision, i know, not to take the faulkner class, because understanding how much i enjoy his work has been a joy and to have a class on it might be too eviscerating, which i can't do right now.

i don't have to worry about chaucer, i found out. my rotten grade can go ahead and stand. i just want it out of my life. i am taking a science in a four-week intensive that's supposed to be a very reasonable experience, from what i've heard. my advisor supports me. next year i am looking at: another workshop, form & theory of fiction, victorian lit (i hope), american lit II and brit lit II (apparently there is an american lit III and if that pops up, i'm on it instead of brit) and i WANT TO TAKE THE NOVEL. that should be offered, in the spring i guess. i need to take one more math. kelly wants me to take combinatorics with she and gretchen. that leaves one spot open, and i want to take modern & contemporary poetry.

and then, more than anything, i want to get my motherfucking undergraduate degree and get out of here.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)