You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

currently listening to: "choke" by hybrid

two of my very best friends haven't spoken to me genuinely in months. i did something that set them both off, but they didn't tell me. they did not respond to my calls. when i saw them they acted like nothing was wrong, but then wouldn't speak to me. now i have asked them about it and they said they had problems with me. they're very nonchalant about it. i was very hurt. i was very hurt that when i was having such a vividly difficult time i was being shirked aside and did not know why. i thought they needed time away from me. i told them we can have a seperation if that's what they want but they turned around and said i was overreacting.

i still don't know what i did. i know i haven't had two of my best friends around for three months, as i've needed them very badly. if it was something i did, i can control and manage that. i think dragging something assuredly small over such a long time when i clearly have been banging down their doors for them to talk to me, clearly not ever having intended to offend them, that to me sounds like overreacting.

unnecessary.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)