You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

currently listening to: "margaret in captivity" by the decemberists

indulging in large-scale masochistic fit over the total-void-of-income. i did have enough money today, however, for one joyously frivolous purchase - a very stately black frame (here are its more garish brethren).

my mom's been in a really kind, generous mood lately and wants to buy me a typewriter for my birthday, which, i'm very happy about that, and slightly more so about her being happy about it.

i woke up early today for a saturday, which was a bad move due to how i've been falling asleep in the middle of everything all week. i had to go to the campus medieval festival, drop off the signs i promised i'd make attractively but in fact made very unimpressively - they were recieved joyously, despite all - and bolt. a lot of people like to mill around in unattractive clothes and poorly imitate cockney accents and act like a different variety of asshole than usual, and that's all right. i'm not one of those people, and it's better if i don't get mixed up in their fun and sabotage it. instead, i went to the mall and fell flat asleep reading we have always lived in the castle.

i listened to three songs that make me cry today: "scenic world" by beirut, "the general" by dispatch and "handlebars" by flobots. it felt very nice to be genuinely moved to cry, as opposed to being suggested into it by likening something sad to what i'm experiencing right now, which isn't just or even so much the thing with my parents, though that doesn't help anything. except to hope that it makes them happier and they emerge better for it.

i am looking forward to living with mary next year and having someone to collaborate on decorating with. she's very receptive to ideas and having fun with it, and very respectful of my space. i'm glad. i love being by myself but this is a big room and i did not have the time with it to decorate both halves.

i want to live somewhere for more than a year and put a lot of effort and affection into it.

soon.

and amber's visiting soon. sooner. gretchen will be back. bryan's best friend is also taking a class in may and maybe the same one as i am (depending on whether i take the math or science i need - i will probably take the math).

the weather is so horrifyingly bad i don't want to leave my room at all but i keep coming up with reasons. right now i want to go to the library. i will nap instead.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)