You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

currently listening to: "madraykin" by queen adreena

i didn't feel very good today at all. on the multiple ocassions i had to talk to others, i couldn't really talk with them. just felt hugely inadequate. i am proud of myself for what i've accomplished this semester and excited about the opportunities that have opened up for me, i shouldn't care about this one small thing. i shouldn't bank on validation. i have, anyway, that job with the poetry professor, which he is so happy to be doing with me, and that's quite externally validating and not necessarily just anyone gets that. from hearsay. he heard what a responsible, "meticulous" worker i am and sought me out. oh my goodness, that's going to be amazing. i can't wait!

tonight i think i should not go out but shower and go right to bed because i need it, to not overthink anything and to enjoy my day off tomorrow.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)