You gave me hyacinths first a year ago. They called me the hyacinth girl.

currently listening to: "the dead only quickly" by the divine comedy

i ate too much sugar on my birthday. amber, elisa, akasha and kara and i watched "let the right one in" (which i recieved this morning, along with these incredible PENCIL SHARPENERS, which are in fact just decorative trinkets, which i am not inclined to accumulating, but i'll have to describe them when i'm not so nauseous).

kara and akasha left after we ate peanut butter pie and then amber, elisa and i hung out on the porch, in the rain, and every time one of us would get angry (about the men that have betrayed us, primarily), it would rain harder and thunder louder.

it was a very fulfilling way to be angry, with positive feedback from nature on the legitimacy of your feelings.

i watched an episode of "true blood" (theme of the day? geez) and think it's bullshit, but i have a feeling i will be watching the entire thing.

prior to that, my dad took me out to breakfast and we had a stimulating discussion about the economy. my aunt called to wish me a happy birthday. SO MANY PEOPLE WISHED ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

ken told me i am as beautiful as louise brooks. that could have been my whole day, and it would have been exactly the kind of birthday i wanted (it was, except for the nausea. which is my own fault - i bought the pie). i was expecting a little exile, a verbal lashing for being as upset about shit as i am, but he has just been there for me. just been a good friend. i have never, ever, for a second, had him as anything less. he has done a consistent and wonderful job, in crises and triumphs and lulls in action and everything. knowing i have that support whatever the circumstance (as long as it isn't me being an asshole, naturally) puts everything else in perfect perspective: it is irrelevant bullshit. and i have the best goddamn friends i could ever ask for. a small nation of them.

and, with that said, it is very important that i take #22 and use it to taking their lofty opinion/s of me into consideration, treating myself correctly and well, enjoying my accomplishments and devoting time to my obstacles. because i am fucking amazing. you can't really fuck that up.

if anybody should ask i'm going to a seminar
pieces of the moon
JOBJOBJOB
interviewinterviewinterview
sensitive heart, you're doomed from the start
(& etc)